In this first episode of season three The Mindful Writer, Diane Gottlieb tells me what she discovered in collating an Anthology about peoples’ body stories.

But before we learn more from Diane let me update you on my writing journey. Not so much writing journey as holiday journal this week. We returned from a fortnight in Lanzarote yesterday. It was a wonderful holiday as I needed a rest and break from routine after a difficult few months associated with a bereavement and the health of loved ones. 

Whilst I was away the thought of stepping back in to my too busy life felt a bit overwhelming. I had to remind myself that I am retired and all the things I do are from choice. My writing schedule and marketing activities, the writing groups – supporting other writers and networking with writer friends, daily exercise classes, socialising. Every day, every week, my diary is crammed with scheduled activities, daily goals, and routine commitments. It is exhausting. I love my life and I am aware of how short it can be. So, I try to cram everything in. I reflected on this whilst on holiday and decided it is about me trying to take control. We can influence how our life unfolds. Daily habits and routines help us to achieve our dreams. But when does this have a negative impact? 

I do not have the answers. I’m trying to be kind to myself by listening to my body and honouring my needs – even if it means sometimes saying No. I’m a people pleaser and if I am truthful, a lot of the things that I cram in to my day are what other people want me to do. 

Our bodies are amazing the way that they tell us when things are not right. Which is a great way to lead us in to the chat today where Diane tells me how she has coped with adversity and shares some of her learning from the courageous and resilient people who contributed to her collection of essays, Awakenings.

Diane Gottlieb, is the editor of Awakenings: Stories of Body & Consciousness.

An award-winning writer, Diane’s work has been published in numerous journals and anthologies.

She is the Prose/CNF Editor of Emerge Literary Journal and the founder and author of WomanPause, a newsletter dedicated to lifting the voices of women over 50. 

You can listen to the podcast here: Connecting the Physical with Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual Wellbeing, with author Diane Gottlieb.

Or read a summary below.

Deborah: Tell me first about your own writing journey and how Awakenings came into being.

Diane: I had a lonely childhood and I would write poetry. My poems all started the same. A deer was in a forest. Her mother died. She was all alone. An elephant was in a jungle. Her mother died. She was all alone. I used writing to express my feelings and to make sense of my world. It was a catharsis for me.

I came to serious writing later in life, studying for Master of the Arts Creative Non-Fiction at the age of fifty-six. After graduating, I started publishing. I had a blog and I committed to being a good literary citizen, lifting other authors’ voices. I became editor of prose and non-fiction for a journal. It was after having a conversation with the editor of this journal about our bodies that we discussed the idea of collecting essays of other people’s body stories to create an anthology. We received a lot of submissions.

Deborah: That sounds like a wide brief. How did you narrow it down?

Diane: There were some constraints. It had to be a personal story and non-fiction. But the brief was broad. The story could be joyous, triumphant, challenging. It could be about any part of the body. Flash fiction up to 1,500 words.

Deborah: What did you discover in researching and editing this book? Were there any surprises?

Diane: So many! We thought we would get a lot of submissions about weight and size with an emphasis on diet and fitness but this wasn’t the case. There were many different and unexpected stories. We were surprised by the wide variety.

The collection is divided into sections. Section one is about different body parts. It includes essays on: breasts, hair, teeth, lips, feet, rear-ends, and hands. There is a section on Taking up Space.

Deborah: Were there any essays about the emotional, spiritual, or psychological responses to body issues?

Diane: All of the essays include these responses as our physical body, has little separation from our thoughts and feelings. How others see us, was a recurring theme. Some essays are very spiritual/ There is a section on out of body experiences.

There are essays on how we show up in the world and how the world sees us including cultural responses. There is one story about a form of dwarfism. Another about pain.

There is a section on growing older. The final section is about what we do to heal. There is one essay on meditation.

Deborah: How many essays are included in the anthology?

Diane: Forty-nine. We planned on having twenty-five but they were too good or too important not to include. It was hard to choose. I waited until the collection was complete before deciding how to structure the book.

I applied three criteria to help me select the final essays.

• The story had to move me emotionally – whether that was to make me laugh, cry or both.
• I had to learn something from the essay.
• The author had to have changed as a result of the experience. The story had to inspire readers in some way.

Deborah: Was this one of your aims? For the book to inspire others?

Diane: Absolutely. I wanted to let readers know if they were struggling, they were not alone. And I wanted to give a voice to people who needed to be heard and understood. To give them emotional courage.

Deborah: Were you surprised by the emotional strength and resilience shown?

Diane: In my professional life as a social worker, I met with so many people who are courageous. I would say, in awe. I saw how resilient people are and how much growth can come from adversity.

Deborah: You are a woman after my own heart. I too enjoyed a career in health and social care where I encountered many strong and courageous people living through incredible adversity. They have been the inspiration for my novels.

Diane: If something really hurts me – is painful – I’m going to grow from it or it is wasted pain. The most rewarding things in life are not easy.

Deborah: I know many writers listening today will experience feelings of despair and failure in their writing journey. So, asking what is this teaching me? How can this experience make me stronger? These are helpful questions.

Diane: If something is troubling me, I write an essay or flash fiction. Recently I’ve started dabbling I poetry. My poems are not great but exploring feelings with poetry is a wonderful experience.

Deborah: Were there any other revelations for you in compiling this anthology?

Diane: How deeply we all want to be accepted and valued for who we are. How people really want to grow. Whether it is evolutionary or biological we all want to expand ourselves.

There is a new consciousness a push back about how we are supposed to look and behave. Our own hateful voices. People are starting to say, No more. I’m not playing this game anymore.

Deborah: Do you think this becomes easier as we grow older?

Diane: Maybe. Although there were several contributions from young people who are doing this successfully.

Deborah: I am interested too in the newsletter you founded, WomanPause. What inspired you to create this newsletter? What function does it serve?

Diane: My newsletter or blog WomenPause is an antidote to menopause. I started publishing it when I was fifty-seven. I believe women ageing in western society face particular challenges: What we are supposed to look like when we age. The value put on youth. 

The empty nest syndrome is very real. Even when you don’t have children. A space that was once filled with care-taking – parents, spouses, friendships –  may be winding down. Working life changes. Women start asking what’s next? Who am I?

I edited this newsletter/blog to give voice to women over fifty who start over later in life. My husband died in a car crash, so I had to start over. I started a new business at fifty-two. A new relationship. I graduated. I’ve discovered lots of new paths later in life. I’m living my best life at sixty-three.

I interviewed a lot of women on my blog, many but not all of them writers, and expressed my thoughts and feelings. 

You can find Diane at https://dianegottlieb.com/ and on Facebook, Instagram, and X as: @DianeGotAuthor.

I am a similar age to Diane at sixty-four. I love my life and I am grateful for my good health and the opportunities available to me. When. You get to a certain age your peers develop medical conditions and too many of them pass away leaving you bereft and increasingly aware of your own mortality. Earlier this year I was reflecting on this. I realised that by focusing on a finishing line I was in danger of holding back. You know how a runner can slow down if they do that instead of looking beyond the finish and giving it everything they’ve got? I wrote this advice for myself: 

Live as though you have forever. Love as if you have today. 

Now, I just have to look after my physical and mental health by saying No and being kind to me. 

How are you honouring your beautiful self? I would love to hear from you. So, until next time. 

Look after your beautiful self and trust the journey. 

You can find all episodes of The Mindful Writer podcast here: https://themindfulwriter.buzzsprout.com

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