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You can be anything that you want to be – here’s how

/ Deborah Kleé Author / 6 Comments

I always told my daughter you can be anything that you want to be. At three years old she said, ‘I want to be a king and an acrobat.’ Of course, if you could be anything why wish to be a queen, when you could be king? Anyway, this was the explanation she gave me when she was older and I questioned, why a king?

My beautiful daughter is now thirty-one and as you can see from the photo below, she is an accomplished acrobat and much more. She is both King and Queen of her world, and of my heart. 

To make the most of our time on this earth we first need to discover our life purpose. When we find this, it is like unleashing a powerful energy- our life force. Some people call it a passion. It drives us to achieve and can fill us with an unbearable longing – a heartfelt wish, as we strive to fulfil our potential and become our authentic self. 

It is a challenging journey. The vision that we have – to become a King, may feel impossible at first and there will be times when we wonder if we should just give up. That it is too hard. It is hard. My mother always told me that nothing worthwhile is ever easy. When we find the thing that brings us joy – our purpose, then we must honour ourself and our creator by pursuing our dream. 

Self-doubt

The biggest barrier to success is self-doubt. Before we even get started the thought goblins will be telling us that there is no point, that there is too much competition, we can’t afford the specialist equipment, we are too old. Thought goblins will come up with one reason after another. It is their job, they are trying to keep us safe, and avoid the risk of disappointment or failure. Another voice – our heart, will tell us not to give up, that this is our dream. We must follow our heart. Listen to our inner voice.

Creatives will know the power of self-doubt. The fear of failure that can kill an idea before it has a chance to take root.

Above all else believe in yourself. Practice daily affirmations if that helps. I save my best reviews and emails from editors and publishers that tell me I can write, and I read these when I feel my confidence ebb.

Discouragement

Our family and friends might love us dearly, however, when we discover a new passion, and start to realise our potential we change. This can have an effect on our relationships. Partners and close friends might feel uncomfortable with a shift in the status quo and try to hold us back, by feeding our self-doubt or discouraging us. Listen. Be kind and understanding. Reassure. But do not let this deter you from your goal. Your loved ones will adjust in time and if they do not then it is their problem to resolve not yours. 

Competition

There will always be some people who are more and some who are less accomplished than we are. Learn from those who are more skilled and offer assistance to those who are not. When we start looking around to size up the competition, we lose our stride and fall back. Do not compare yourself with others or with other versions of yourself. Keep present. Focus on what you are doing now and strive to make it the best it can be.

photo by Dimitris Vetsikas Pixabay

Dead ends

I recognise these. Twice in my life I have experienced what I perceived to be the way ahead closed to me. These events were of such significance that on both occasions I had dreams portending the need for me to change direction. The first time it was a career change. I was applying for jobs as the Chief Executive of a health trust. I had prepared well and was being championed by influential players. The night before my first interview I dreamt that I could not exit a roundabout as I had intended. I didn’t get the job. The dream recurred each time I went for a similar job. When I re-evaluated what I wanted from my career and looked more widely at the options available to me I found a much better fit. 

The second time I experienced this was a couple of decades later. I was represented by a respected literary agent and my novel was on submission to publishers. Everything was looking rosy and yet I had that same dream again. You guessed it. I did not get a contract. Several months later I self-published my debut and have not looked back. 

When it feels as though the way ahead is blocked, we are being led in another direction. Listen to your intuition. New pathways reveal themselves when we are open to new possibilities.

Perseverance

Never, ever give up. During the most challenging periods of my journey to publication I found inspiration in a couple of films: Eddie the Eagle and Walt before Mickey. 

Michael Edwards, AKA Eddie the Eagle represented Great Britain in the 1988 Winter Olympics Ski Jumping, fulfilling his life long ambition to compete in the Olympics. Edwards was disadvantaged in every way and yet overcame adversity through determination. 

Similarly, Walt Disney in the film Walt before Disney, experienced one knockback after another. He hit an all-time low that would have anyone else throwing in the towel. But not the hero of this film. Walt Disney had absolute faith in his talent and refused to give up no matter what. Like Eddie the Eagle, he finds another way. 

These are exceptions you might say. Their stories have been dramatized for film. This is true but I took from these films the inspiration and motivation to persevere.

Disney may have experienced extreme lows but look at the highs that came after. When you get a set- back look forward to the time when this will be reversed in equal measure!

You can be anything that you want to be. Believe in yourself and follow that dream.

How to find your life purpose

/ Deborah Kleé Author / 11 Comments

When I was a small child I remember saying to my mother in earnest, ‘I don’t know what God wants me to do.’ A teacher must have told a story from the bible which I took to heart. I would have been about seven-years-old. I remember clearly being anxious that I had an important purpose in life but could not recall what it was. My mother made light of my remark as she tucked me up in bed, but that thought stayed with me.

Finding our life-purpose sounds terribly grand and noble, but all it means is discovering who we are meant to be. We each have a unique combination of attributes. The way that we see the world. Our life experience. Talents, knowledge, and networks. Like the seed of a plant, our DNA has within it all that we need to become our unique self.

Imagine your life like a story. There are clues dropped like breadcrumbs; you are not the reader but the protagonist of this story. Have you ever visited a place and had an aha moment as though you recognise its significance? This has happened to me throughout my life, whether it is a place of work or somewhere that I will one day live. The relevance of that spark is not obvious at the time but later when I find myself back there, I realise why I felt a connection. Maybe the same is true of the people that we meet.

Following on with the analogy of our life being like a story, I want to share with you another observation. I believe that when we get to the end of our life and look back, it all makes sense. How we got to where we needed to be. Why things happened as they did. If you are going through a dark period in your life, turn the pages knowing that all will be well.

But I digress. There are other signs for us to follow. When I am deciding whether a job is right for me, I ask myself, does the prospect of this job make my heart sink or sing? I apply this to any big decisions. Trust your heart. When your heart soars you are on the right track.

I was recently asked to address a conference of public sector workers on my transition from working in health and social care to becoming a full-time author. I am sharing with you an extract from my presentation, as these words clarified for me the values that have shaped my life.

My life purpose has been one of championing and enabling people who feel disadvantaged. I spent my career trying to improve people’s experience of care. I chaired boards, wrote national reports, talked with ministers, and in recent years wrote many Safeguarding adult reviews and domestic homicide reviews. My head and heart are filled with the stories of people who have experienced and, in many cases, overcome adversity. In my local and national reports, I strived to give a voice to those people. 

Now I am a full-time author my purpose has not changed. In fact, I feel compelled to release those voices. To give them life and to write them a happy ending. They are still clamouring to be heard and unless I get them down on paper, they will continue to hound me. I don’t write to try and change the world, or to deliver a message. I write because it brings me joy. I hope that the immense pleasure I get from writing my novels is experienced in some way by the reader. If in reading about my protagonists’ lives, I stir some empathy or shine a bit of light that brings hope then I am grateful. 

I have often said in my blogs that a seed is sown in our hearts by our creator for us to nurture to fruition. Like the sap which rises in plants as they prepare for growth in the spring, the idea becomes a passion and drives us on a path to succeed and fulfil our dream/goal. Noticing this energy, what excites us and makes us happy helps us to find direction and purpose. 

Do what you love, because that is what you will be good at, and in turn, you will be successful. 

At seven years old I recognised the importance of finding my purpose in life, even if I did not know what it meant. Every one of us is unique. We each have a valuable contribution to make. Do not compare your path to anyone else’s. Follow your heart and believe in yourself because you are awesome.

Out with the old and in with the new

/ Deborah Kleé Author / 8 Comments

This is my first year of writing a blog and so I do not have a tradition of sharing with you my aspirations for the coming year or a review of the year that has passed. However, this is something I have practiced in my personal journaling for the past thirty years. I have got it down to a fine art with a review of the highs and lows, then bullet point aspirations for the coming year. As I have grown older and wiser my aspirations have become modest and more about maintaining good health and well-being. So, I get a kick of satisfaction when I write at the beginning of each new year that I have exceeded my expectations.

Maybe my intuition prepared me for what 2020 was to bring because my aspirations were:

  • Keep up daily meditation practice
  • Continue to write every day
  • Continue to exercise – yoga, Pilates, cardio, etc.
  • Improve diet by planning meals in advance, using what is in the fridge.
  • Buy less or zero clothes

The above was pretty much what filled every day! I am proud to say that I did not buy a single item of clothing. I had just finished writing the first draft of Just Bea and in the process researched recycled clothes. This raised my awareness of waste as a result of fashion and I decided that I had more than enough clothes to last me several years. 

My writing goals were to complete Just Bea so that it was ready for publication and to start work on Misdirection. At that time I was represented by a top literary agent and The Borrowed Boy was out on submission so I was hoping for a publishing contract.

My reviews of previous years have been filled with travels to exotic places, family occasions, theatre, exhibitions – all of the things we missed in 2020. However, there was a silver lining for me because I focused 100% on writing, publishing, and marketing my books.

At the end of March, I decided to self-publish The Borrowed Boy and inspired by Joanne Penn of The Creative Penn (look up her podcast and website – she is amazing) to become an Indie Entrepreneur. I have learnt so much this year and loved every minute of this exciting journey. I have connected with wonderful people all over the world: readers, authors, bloggers, life coaches, and teachers. 

At the end of 2019, my heartfelt wish was –  to quote my journal, ‘To get a publishing contract.’ Although this did not happen, what did happen was better because it opened up new opportunities for me and fulfilled an aspiration that I had long forgotten. Many years ago, I imagined writing a column in a magazine about the sort of things I write about here in my blog. There was no such thing as a blog then and the vision I had of sharing my reflections in a column was crazy but the idea nagged me. I believe that ideas are sown in our hearts with a purpose. It may take some time before they make sense, but I know from the joy I get in writing my blog that it is what I was meant to do.

My first blog was posted on 16th April 2020 and with the exception of 28th December, I have posted a blog every Monday since then.

I won’t go through everything I have achieved this year but I will just express my gratitude for a few more things that came into my life once I decided to take the path of an Indie Entrepreneur.

Friday salon Tweet-chats

Every Friday at 4 pm GMT, 12 EST on Twitter I host a tweet-chat for the writing community – Friday Salon. I look forward to our weekly chats and have met some great people from across the world. Everyone is welcome to join in. Before this year, I did not engage with social media. I love people and believed Twitter with the limitation on words to be superficial. However, tweet-chats and the supportive writing community I found on Twitter proved me wrong. When the world feels like a dark place, I look to the network of like-minded people I have discovered through social media and I imagine them shining bright, lighting up the world. 

Castaway Books

I have been busy recording interviews with some of my favourite authors about the books which have shaped their lives and influenced their writing. Learning how to edit films and starting a YouTube channel and podcast was a steep learning curve – but I am ready to share this with you early in the new year.

Books

The Borrowed Boy was published on 1st August and has already received three awards. Just Bea my second novel will be published on 1st February. Check my Facebook page Deborah Klée Author for news of the launch party on 4th February 8pm GMT with a paperback giveaway draw, which you are invited to attend.

In summary

It has been a difficult year in many respects as I am missing my family, especially my daughter and her husband who we have not seen for a whole year, and my father who is in a care home. I visit him whenever I am allowed to but I have not hugged him since 3rd March. However, I am grateful that we live in a beautiful part of the world, that we have a garden and a spacious house, that my husband and I both have creative pursuits and interests to keep us occupied, and above all that we have good health. 

I hope that you have good things to look back on in 2020 and wish you the very best for 2021. Thank you for subscribing to my blog and commenting on my posts. I love hearing from you.

Making the most of your time

/ Deborah Kleé Author / 3 Comments

With the year drawing to a close and a new year about to begin, it is often a time of reflection. Of course, 2020 was a year like no other as we experienced a pandemic and our daily lives were much changed. We all got through the year the best that we could. Routines changed. Some activities received more attention and others less.

If you were to draw a pie chart of how you typically spend your time each day, what would it look like? 

I worked on a fourteen-hour day over seven days. The biggest chunk of time is the brown section – quality time spent with my partner (MOH). As I retired from my day job to spend more time with my husband who is twelve years older than me, this is good. Writing novels, marketing my work, and reading are also well represented. My passion is creative writing and so investing time in writing and reading is important to me. However, this honest estimate of how I spend my time does raise some concerns for me. If I had carried out a similar exercise before the pandemic it would have looked very different. There would have been a sizeable chunk of time spent with my father who has Alzheimer’s disease and lives in a nearby care home. Sadly, I am now only permitted to visit him for twenty minutes a week. I have committed myself to write and publish my books this year, but I wonder at what expense of other activities. I value my friends and yet I spend very little time with them. This is partly due to the need for social isolation, but living by the sea there is no reason why I could not have made time to take walks with friends.

Then, there is that other chunk of time mysteriously labelled ‘other leisure’. The time lost in browsing social media or watching TV. I have a cupboard full of crafting projects awaiting my attention but have neglected all interests except for writing.

Cooking is food preparation and baking but also includes housework. I am fortunate that my husband does most of the housework as he was the main homemaker for many years whilst I went out to work.

If you are honest about how you divide your time, does it match your priorities? Are you investing enough time in the things that are important to you? What is missing? Do you need to make any adjustments?

The importance of having varied interests

It is important to have several interests and activities in your life and not to invest all of your time and energy in just one or two. It is that adage Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket. This happens too often with people who have no interests outside of work. Retirement comes along and they are bereft. There is nothing else in their life to take its place. Waiting until retirement to develop an interest or hobby is leaving it too late.

Try drawing a grid of nine squares – three across and three down. Write in each square an activity that is important to you – work might be one of those squares. What will you write in the other eight? If any one of these activities is no longer available to you for whatever reason, you have others that can take its place. All too often we rely on one interest to meet all of our needs. When we can no longer engage with this activity because our life circumstances have changed then the loss is great. If we develop several interests, we safeguard against this, and we expand our opportunities and potential for personal growth.

For many years I was completely focused on my career. I commuted into London and worked long days. I loved my work and believed that I didn’t have any time for hobbies or outside interests. I was working as a management consultant and had been very successful, and then came the inevitable famine. My work dried up. I drove myself crazy chasing potential contracts. Fortunately, I had put enough money aside to provide for my family during such a time. When you work for yourself you expect feast or famine. It should have been an opportunity for me to rest and enjoy some well-earned leisure time, but I didn’t have any interests and had not made any effort to become part of my community. Those months of having no work were the best thing that could have happened to me. Once I had relaxed into accepting that work would pick up in its own time, I started to develop interests. I took up oil painting, bell-ringing – which didn’t last but I made some good friends, and I joined a local women’s group. It was also around this time that I enrolled in a creative writing class. I discovered that there was more to life than work and that it was important to make room for friends and other interests.

Apart from the need to lead a balanced life, hobbies enrich our lives:

  • They stop us from working too hard
  • Help to ease us into retirement
  • Bring us into contact with other people, creating new friendships
  • Enable us to relax by losing ourselves in an absorbing activity
  • Make us a more interesting person
  • Learn new transferable skills
  • Can bring in additional income
  • Discover skills we didn’t know that we had.

I rediscovered the pleasure of creative writing, when I joined that class, twenty years ago. Now, I am a full-time author. In addition to writing, I enjoy craftwork. I plan to make a framed miniature, complete a decorative doll I started last year, and knit up some wool I bought into felted bags in the coming weeks. I won’t achieve all of these but I will make more time in my life for varied activities.

And I will definitely find more time to see my friends, within the parameters allowed by social distancing requirements. It has been an unusual year and I long for the days when I can go to exhibitions, visit galleries, travel, and spend time with my family again. In the meantime, I have plenty to keep me occupied and content.

Are there activities that you are going to make more time for in the new year?

Five ways to get what you want

/ Deborah Kleé Author / 2 Comments

Through prayer and meditation, we learn to ask for what we want and need, and teachings tell us that we will receive. But how? You might ask. If only it was that simple. I think it could be that simple; if we learn how to stop putting obstacles in our way. 

There are different sorts of asks and I have described these as three wishes: The Heartfelt wish. The Fairy godmother request, and the one-minute miracle.

The Heartfelt wish

There are the big asks, for example, to become a published author, or to get the career progression we long for. I know all about those longings. The hours spent in meditation and/or prayer, writing in my journal. In my lifetime, I have had three big asks. When I was a teenager, I desperately wanted to train as an occupational therapist. It wasn’t just a career option, to me it was as much a dream as the contestants on a TV talent show seeking fame. I really, really wanted to get accepted for training. As it happens, my application was rejected, as I hadn’t chosen the right options to study at school. I left school without taking my exams, and then a miracle happened because I was called for an entrance exam and interview and got a place as a result of an administrative error. It wouldn’t happen today, but I qualified and worked for twenty years in the NHS.

In my thirties, I was frustrated because my career in hospital management was not progressing in the linear route that I had planned. It took a while before I realised that my destiny was another path, one that brought me greater satisfaction. 

And then, there was my dream to become a published author, and my writer friends know all about the angst of that longing.

Curtesy of Sarah Ritcher Art Instagram

The Fairy godmother request

These are the cries for help when we face an impossible task because we don’t have the skills, time, or money. We all have different skills and knowledge. When we don’t know how to do something there is always somebody who does, but we have to ask. It is not a weakness to ask for help, and most people are glad to assist, so long as it is not always the same person and we reciprocate by helping others. 

A few weeks ago, I was feeling exhausted mentally as I had worked hard on getting my debut The Borrowed Boy published and then preparing my second novel, Just Bea for publication. My cover designer was ready to complete the full cover and needed my blurb for the back of the book. I had written so many versions of this book blurb over the past two years, but I couldn’t get it right. I sent my final attempt to a couple of writer friends, both of them said it needed work. I went to bed feeling overwhelmed by the task as I had nothing left to give. 

The following morning, I opened my emails to find that my wonderful writer friend Ellie Holmes had taken my poor attempt and like Rumpelstiltskin had spun straw into gold. The perfect blurb was waiting on my computer in an email that she sent at around 6 am with a message that it had come to her during the night. What an amazing friend!

Curtesy of Aline Dassel Pixabay

The one-minute miracle.

You know the every day asks: Please let me catch this bus. Let there be a parking place outside the school. My grandmother had rheumatoid arthritis and lived alone in a ground floor flat. She didn’t have any family living close by and depended on care services for meals, getting dressed, etc. My grandmother told me that whenever she needed help with something, she would send up a prayer and within minutes a kind neighbour would happen to drop in as if in answer to her request. The angels appear exactly when needed.

I have experienced a few of these angels myself. In my blog, Life changing decisions I told the story of how a stranger came to my rescue when at nineteen I flew from London to Arizona to surprise a pen friend, forgetting that I only had his PO box number. I found myself in Tucson at 3 am, 80 miles from Bisbee where my friend lived, with no phone number or address. 

I believe there are five rules to getting what you want.

Big or small the same rules apply when asking and receiving.

1. Ask and believe

When you ask for something, whether that is through meditation or prayer to God, the universe, your guardian angel, or whatever power you believe in – have faith. Believe that you have been heard and that your needs will be met.

2. Forget about timing

Your request may not be answered immediately and you may think it never will. Be patient and trust that the timing will be perfect. Not a moment too late or too soon. 

3. Relax and be present

Let go of anxiety and be tranquil knowing that your prayer will be answered. It is only when you are relaxed and calm that you will recognise when it happens.

4. Expect the unexpected

The manifestation of your desire may not be in the way you perceived it to be. Be open to new possibilities however unlikely they might at first seem. 

5. Give thanks

Remember to give thanks. Show your gratitude by helping others. Pay it forward.

I hope that all of your dreams and wishes come true.

Author interview with Winnifred Tataw

/ Deborah Kleé Author / 1 Comment

I am delighted to welcome author Winnifred Tataw to my blog this week. I discovered Winnie through her blog https://winsbooks.blog

It was the Built by Us crafting films that first captivated me. I just love watching Winnie’s demonstrations as she is so warm and joyful – always smiling. I have been amazed by her energy and productivity. Winnie has incredible talent as an artist, crafter, and novelist. So, it gives me great pleasure to congratulate Winnie on the publication of Lone Star this week and to introduce her to you.

What inspired you to start writing?

My imagination and my mother. I am always imagining things and creating things in my head and on paper with my art.  One day my mother asked me why I didn’t write it down and I took off from there!

When and where do you prefer to write?

I love to write on rainy days with a warm cup of tea or marshmallow hot chocolate. I prefer to write in the daytime, and edit at night. That is the new writing process I’ve started and it works great for me!

What is your favourite book?

The Giver from Lois Lowry. I read this book back in middle (grade) school and fell in love with it. I’ve read it a couple more times after that and each time the story gets better and better.

If you could give your younger writing self any advice what would it be?

Keep dreaming! Your imagination and determination are going to take you far.  As long as you keep pushing through, what you envision is going to come forth. You got this Win-Win! (And invest in a very good editor!)

And finally, tell us about your most recent book and where we can find it.

My book, The Lone Star Child comes out on December 5, 2020! It is the third book in my young adult fantasy series The Gods’ Scion. It is a tale about revenge and loneliness. There is the theme of coming to terms with past wounds that have plagued many of the book’s characters for years.

The Lone Star Child by Winnifred Tataw

Ophiuchus was cursed to imprisonment in space for wanting to share their gifts with the world. For millennia, they have been alone and forgotten. But Caro, the Space Acolyte, is their new chance at freedom. They’ve had a long time to think about what they’ll do once they’re freed. Which, with Caro’s help, will soon become a reality. Finally, they will be able to crush all those who ever forsake them in the past. But this time around, it will be different. This time they won’t show any mercy. Every person that ever abandoned them will feel their wrath. The Gods called them a monster. Well now, they’ve got one.

Buyer link: https://books2read.com/lone-star-child

How to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone Bubble

/ Deborah Kleé Author / 4 Comments

This week I have invited change guru Matthew Williams to write a guest blog

As we approach the end of 2020 – and let’s be honest, the back of it can’t come soon enough – many of us will be taking stock of the year that everything changed.

Freedoms that earlier generations fought and died for, freedoms that are widely considered to be the foundational stones upon which our society is built – and that many of us have long taken for granted – were curtailed under the relentless advance of an enemy that few of us had even heard of this time last year: Covid-19.

2020 has taught us a lot, and it has powerfully reinforced a universal truth – the inevitability of change.

For many, change represents the unknown, the uncertain, and the uncontrollable. In short, it represents fear. For others change represents the new – excitement, opportunity and adventure. 

Like much in life, it is our mindset that largely determines our experience of change.

Our mindset determines how we respond to the unexpected changes that life thrusts upon us without the courtesy of knocking on our door. Divorce, illness, bereavement, redundancy – all are examples of ‘plot twists’ in our stories that have the power to fundamentally alter the courses of our lives, forever. Our mindset also determines how likely we are to instigate change, our willingness to take the bold strides towards an unknown future that promises much but guarantees little.

Many of us are content to live within our comfort zone, safely socially distanced within our own bubble, unwilling to step towards the boundary of what is known and familiar. This can be true even when we may think we long for change. 

But sometimes, as 2020 has brought home to many of us, life has a way of insisting that our comfort zone is no longer an option. 

Life has dealt me two major plot twists in recent years – divorce and depression. And there has been one thing that has helped me to navigate my way past these most unwelcome of visitors – the pen (well, the keyboard and iPad too, but you get the point).

I became a writer in December 2015, a response to an accumulation of factors one year on from the end of my marriage. The thing is, I never set out to become a writer; it just kind of happened, sparked by a compulsion that had hitherto laid dormant. It wasn’t that I wanted to write about what I was going through, I needed to.

And so I wrote, and I wrote, and I wrote. What started as a blog became my first book, Something Changed – Stumbling Through Divorce, Dating and Depression; this was soon followed by my first poetry collection, A Familiar Stranger. Writing has enhanced my life in so many ways that I could never have imagined when my words first poured forth on my screen 6 years ago. 

As I started my writing journey, words flowed from me in a constant stream, articulating difficult and painful thoughts and emotions and giving form to my internal struggles. The act of writing was a powerful catharsis, but it was more than that. What was released was repurposed, reframed. Meaning and clarity came from the chaos and confusion of divorce, and from my prior struggles with my mental health, to which I also turned the illuminating scroll of my pen. My struggles were thus embodied within a bigger, more significant story; a story of self-doubt and self-discovery, of challenge and of change.

The act of writing was one part of this story, the other major part was the act of sharing my story with others. A few people close to me were concerned about this. Was it going to be good for my mental health? And what about what other people thought of my (over)sharing of some of my most difficult moments, within an online environment that often likes to share the shining surfaces of life far more readily than the dark undersides.

I reflected on what my compulsion to share my story was rooted in. Although I would describe myself as a confident and friendly person, I’m not someone that naturally likes to draw attention to myself (and if I was, there’s better things to be noticed for than going through divorce and depression!).

In sharing my story publicly while it was unfolding, I felt I was somehow holding myself to account. I was forcing myself to find the positives, to turn these adversities into something good, and to create a better future from the ashes of the past. 

As an avid lifetime reader, I also recognised the power of our stories to make a difference in the lives of others. A truthful story, boldly and fearlessly told, holds a rare and potent power. Having found my voice, I felt an obligation to share my story, to show others going through similar trials that they were not alone, that someone else out there ‘got it’. And that together, as writer and reader, we would get through it.

In writing my story I created an empowering narrative that became a springboard for a new and better life. And now, through the gift of storytelling, I am helping to change the lives of others. I have developed an online personal development programme, Change, which uses storytelling principles to help people to unleash the power of their own personal story. It helps people to explore their life story in a way that is, according to one attendee, ‘inspiring, fresh and different’. It enables them to reframe their narratives where they fail to serve their best interests, and to help people take the necessary steps to write the best chapters in their life stories to date – as their best selves.

As we look forward to 2021 I want to use the lessons of my writing life to help others to embrace the opportunity to first define, and then design, the life stories that they want to live.

Why settle for your life when you can get busy writing a better one?

About Change

Change is Matthew’s unique new online personal development programme that uses the power of your own personal story to help you to:

  • discover what is holding you back from living your best life
  • gain insight and clarity on the changes that will bring you greater success and happiness
  • identify the steps that will lead you to a more fulfilling life

You can sign up for free introduction to Change and a special discount offer here: https://change.afamiliarstranger.co.uk/

Vincent Ehindero Blogger Award

/ Deborah Kleé Author / 2 Comments

I am delighted to have been nominated by Ingrid of Experiments in Fiction for the Vincent Ehindero Blogger Award. My second award this year! I must start displaying them on a dedicated page because it is a reminder of the love and support of this wonderful community.

I discovered Ingrid’s blog Experiments in Fiction earlier this year and I am delighted that I did, as I feel I have come to know a little about this talented poet and generous soul. Experiments in Fiction is a fabulous blog as it is packed with interesting content. I have recently been enjoying Postcards from Slovenia, Ingrid’s home country. The photographs and descriptions have persuaded me that this is one of the first places I will visit when the world feels a safe place to travel again.

Experiments in Fiction aims to promote stories that say something new or old in a new way. Ingrid connects with other writers and generously promotes their work. For the past few weeks, her blog has been hosting a poetry challenge where poets are invited to send a poem in response to a theme. The poet with the winning entry then judges the next challenge. I have delighted in reading the entries. Ingrid herself is a talented poet and I am looking forward to reading a collection of her poems when she is published.

The Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you with a link to their blog. 
  2. Make a post of the award (with a photo of the logo).
  3. Post the rules.
  4. Ask 5-10 questions of your choice.
  5. Nominate 10-30 other bloggers (or more) and notify them.

Ingrid’s questions with my answers:

  1. Who would you like to see as the next ruler of your country and why?

I am purposefully going to dodge talking politics and nominate the Cinderella from the Disney movie. When she becomes queen of her kingdom her manifesto is: with kindness, courage and a little bit of magic you can achieve anything. This should be the motto of creatives.

2. How have you survived lockdown?

Fortunately, my family and I have remained safe and well, and for that I am truly grateful. At the beginning of lockdown, when we were unable to find a publisher for my debut,I parted company with my ‘dream’ agent. Since then, I have published with an Indie press, started a blog, found social media, and joined the amazing community of creatives who support one another. I have also been learning French with daily practice, and enjoying yoga, meditation, and long walks with my husband. I have done more than survive – I have thrived. Like the wild flowers that bloom in the cracks of concrete in our back yard.

3. If you could meet any historical figure who would it be and why?

Mahatma Gandhi, because he was an incredible leader who led non-violent resistance and brought about change despite immense opposition. 

4. If you had a time machine but could only travel either backwards or forwards, which would you choose and why?

I would go forwards in time, because if I had a glimpse of our world in the future I might be able help us to prepare and mitigate disaster.

5. What is the meaning of life?

Thanks Ingrid! To find your purpose by doing what you love and following your dreams. To remember that we are all made of the same matter, we are connected to one another and all that is in this world and beyond. Cinderalla had it right – Be Kind. Be Courageous. I watched that film for the first time last night so I am a bit obsessed today.

6. What is your favourite comedy show or movie (has to be comedy).

In the early 90s there was a TV show called Smack the Pony. This series made me weep with laughter. The comedians were all women and the humour appealed to a female audience. I don’t watch a lot of television but my husband is always watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory, and that is entertaining .

Questions for my nominees:

  1. What brought you to blogging and why?
  2. What would you tell your younger self?
  3. What is your life purpose/mission?
  4. Describe yourself in three words
  5. What can we look forward to on your blog?

My nominees are:

I am going to cheat and only name six bloggers. This is because some I would nominate are unable to participate at this time, and because others have already been mentioned in this train. The first two, are bloggers I have come to love not only for their interesting and varied blogs, but also for their support and generosity to other bloggers.

Azilde Elizabeth https://azildeelizabeth.com

Winnie Tataw https://winsbooks.blog

The second two are new to blogging but respected experts in their fields. I recommend that you have a look at their blogs, Anita is an author and creative writing tutor and Sherry is an expert in health and social care.

Anita Belli http://anitabellibooks2020.wordpress.com

Sherry Malik https://sherrymalik.wordpress.com

The last two are bloggers who I have recently discovered. Lauren is a freelance journalist who is passionate about social justice. Her interests reflect my own and I love reading her posts. Matthew has a background in mental health and promotes the use of story telling to improve mental health and well-being. He is an expert in this field and has many speaking engagements.

Lauren Crosby Medlicott https://laurencrosbymedlicott.substack.com

Matthew Williams https://afamiliarstranger.co.uk

I hope you will enjoy discovering these blogs. Now, could I include my swimming certificate for a width of the pool on my trophies page?

The Sunshine Bloggers Award

/ Deborah Kleé Author / 5 Comments

I am delighted to have been nominated by the talented Ingrid at  Experiments in Fiction for the Sunshine Blogger Award! Ingrid uses her blog to bring stories that are experimental in nature to the reader’s attention, so that they challenge the reader and raise questions. Ingrid writes beautiful moving poetry, and is also an accomplished writer. Refreshingly original, her blog is a joy to read Ingrid also has a talented son – check out 7 year old Benji’s post.

The Rules

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  • Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
  • List the rules and display a Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.

Questions for me:

1.When did you start writing?

I have always written: home-made books when I was a child, journals throughout my adult life and then as a freelance journalist in health and social care. Writing fiction was at first a hobby – short stories that I shared with family and friends. However, I started writing novels eight years ago, when a short story kept on growing until it became my first novel

2. What are your writing goals?

The Borrowed Boy will be published on 1st August. My plan is to publish Just Bea on 1st February 2021 and Misdirectionin August 2021. I have already written these novels and received editorial assessments and so I am confident that this is achievable. Then, I am looking forward to writing my next story which is in my head and getting impatient to be told – so lots of writing ahead. 

3. What do you prefer to read, factual or fictional writing?

I prefer fiction but enjoy reading autobiographies too. I am currently fascinated by Penelope Fitzgerald’s life story and have requested a book of her letters from the library.

4. Do you prefer poetry or prose?

That is hard as good prose within a novel is poetic. I read more fiction than poetry and so it has to be prose. However, I love Lemn Sissay’s poems. Every time I listen to him reading, Invisible Kisses my heart bursts with love.

5. Do you prefer short fiction or novels?

Definitely novels. I find it hard to concentrate when reading a short story and cannot read magazines for the same reason. My mind will not still and keeps thinking ahead to the next task. When I open a novel, I relax, knowing that I can read for as long as I choose. 

6. What is your dream holiday destination?

I am lucky enough to have had many wonderful holidays and have travelled to every continent. However, Italy is one of my favourite destinations: Venice, Tuscany or Sorrento.

7. How would you spend your last day on earth, if you could choose to do absolutely anything?

I would return to the Parrucchiano restaurant in Sorento and dine at a long table beneath the lemon trees, surrounded by family and friends. We would spend the afternoon enjoying good food and wine, laughing and sharing happy memories.

8. What is your favourite song?

Al Stewart’s Year of the Cat. Al Stewart’s early albums are the soundtrack to my teenage years, Orange and Bedsitter Images. He is a poet. Although this song is not one of his best, it has a special place in my heart. When we first met, my husband made me a book. On each page he wrote a line of that song and used collage, photographs and his own art work to capture the early days of our relationship. It was a love letter like no other.

9. Do you use social media to promote your writing and if so, which platforms?

When I thought about how I would market my books I decided to blog. I had no idea that writing the blog would be so enjoyable. It also means that I can connect with like-minded people on Twitter and Instagram by sharing blog posts rather than trying to sell my books. It has brought me into contact with some wonderful people across the globe. 

10. Have you ever written a book, or do you plan to (please provide details)?

I have written four books but I am about to publish my debut, The Borrowed Boy. 

11. Large hotel or small guest house: which do you prefer and why?

A large hotel. I have had some unfortunate experiences whilst staying at guest houses, as they can be a bit unpredictable. I like to be assured of the quality and service provided so that I can relax and enjoy exploring the area. 

My Nominees

1. Elizabeth Bennet’s Plague Diaries

2. Lu Reviews Books

3. Lizzie Chantry

4. And Then What 

5. The Marcist Agenda 

6. Helen Carey Books

7. Behind her Books

8. EdMyJourneyOCD

9. Being Anne

10. Wins Books

11. Rachel Brooker

Questions for nominated bloggers:

1. What attracted you to start a blog and how has it developed?

2. If you were restricted to eat the favourite cuisine of one nation (forever), what would it be: Indian, Chinese, Mexican, Italian, other?

3. What superpower would you like to have and why?

4. Name 2-4 books that have had a memorable impact on you at any stage in your life.

5. What is your greatest achievement?

6. What is the most daring thing you have done?

8. What would be at the top of your bucket list?

9. Which songs/artistes provided a soundtrack to your teenage years?

10. If you could time travel to another time past or future when would it be and why?

11. What advice would you give to new bloggers? 

Roz White – author interview

/ Deborah Kleé Author / Leave a comment

Today I am interviewing Roz White, author of The Sisterhood series and Lady Ghast, A Steam Punk Phantasy. I enjoyed the first book in the Sisterhood series, see my review on Good Reads: shorturl.at/brtxD

Hello Roz. I loved Sisterhood and will read more in this series however, it was the first novel I have read about transgender women. What was your journey in getting published and having your voice heard? 

 I had previously written a few books (under a different name) and self-published on Lulu; actually, to be totally precise, my very first book (a non-fiction dealing with certain aspects of local history that ought to have been my PhD thesis had I ever taken it) was taken on by a local publisher, now sadly long defunct. So, when I started The Sisterhood, I expected to be putting it up on Lulu as well – it was a fairly straightforward process and if I made any sales, then great! However, I stumbled across a small start-up publisher on Facebook, and to my great surprise they took me on! Wow – I was going to be properly published! Then, just as my book was the next on the list for putting out there – yep, they folded. So initially it went back on Lulu; then Amazon seemingly simplified their own KDP process (or Create as I think it was called then) and were pushing it on social media. Given how much greater a reach I was going to get on Amazon as compared to Lulu, it was a bit of a no-brainer to migrate everything over, really, although since I’m still writing new stuff at an alarming rate (no, really, it is! Potentially three books a year…) there are still some of the early books only on Lulu. It’s a work in progress, so to speak.

The five women in Sisterhood have very different needs, wants and, experiences as transgender people, what were you aiming to achieve in telling their stories?

The story behind writing the thing in the first place is one I find I’ve succumbed to over and over – I go looking for something suitable to read in a given genre, and can’t find anything. So, I write it. The local history book I referred to earlier was the result of another book by an “enthusiast” rather than a “historian” (and since I did my BA in History, I rather grandly consider myself as such) and I rashly said in front of a whole room of people, “he’s got so much of this wrong – it’s rubbish!” To which they replied, “well write something better then,” – so I did. Which was precisely the starting-point for The Sisterhood: as a transwoman myself, I wanted to read about the realities of the condition. 

There are plenty of textbooks out there, most of which regard gender dysphoria in a strictly medical / academic manner; there is plenty of thinly-disguised porn, in which the trans element is a mere device for either forced cross-dressing for sexual gratification or for the (usually male) protagonist to discover a whole new universe of sexual experience. I wanted stories that told of being laughed at in shops, of how to overcome the crushing worry about even stepping outside, about worrying if you’re perverted or sick or whatever for having these urges… etc. So, the initial intention was to write something that my trans friends would read and relate to as we negotiated our own varied and diverse corners of the world; then I discovered that, through online book groups, a good number of cis-women (and cis-men, come to that) were reading them and empathising with the characters as well! Now that’s a result and a half as far as I’m concerned: I couldn’t be more delighted with the reception the books have had, as can be judged from the reviews for them on Amazon.

That leads nicely into my next question. What impact has your writing had in raising awareness and challenging stereotypical beliefs? 

I’d like to think it’s had quite a bit, to be honest – there are other books of a similar style out there now (a trilogy by my good friend Debbie, who writes under the name of Iain Benson, takes a very similar idea and sets it firmly in and around Manchester, UK), and I’d like to think that I had something to do with the idea that transwomen can write mainstream fiction and have it well-received. It remains a fact that, had I found anything I considered worth reading in terms of trans fiction when I started, The Sisterhood would probably never have seen the light of day. I could say the same of my alter-ego H.A. Douglas’ Viking-Age novels, and indeed of my Lady Ghast steampunk series; perhaps I set high standards for the fiction I choose to read, I don’t know. I grew up on H.G. Wells, E.E. Smith, Arthur C. Clarke, Asimov, etc, for what it’s worth…

You give a candid account of your personal situation as a transgender woman, in the back of the book? How much of the characters’ lives reflect some of your own experiences?

That’s an interesting one. There are five main characters because a single character could not possibly have fitted every potential experience into that one life; I’ve not experienced everything my five girls have, but people I know, have. There’s nothing in there that somebody with this condition hasn’t had to face and deal with, from Naomi’s tolerant wife to Cathy’s supremely hostile one; we’ve all faced going into a shop for the first time and being terrified of the reception we’ll get (most of us have experienced the difficulty of finding affordable shoes in a wearable size, too!), we’ve all worried if we’re too tall, too hairy, too deep in the voice, if we look ridiculous… there’s a photo somewhere of me in a shop with one of the sales assistants, and I tower over her! It’s awful! 

I’m not proud to say I’ve concealed things, I’ve hidden stuff and sneaked outings where I could; I’ve also said more than once that had I been able to keep all this a secret, I would have taken that secret to the grave, gladly. But it wasn’t to be. So, in short, there is nothing in there that somebody, somewhere, hasn’t done; it’s been tricky as the series has grown and continued (I originally thought it would be just the one book, and I’ve just finished writing novel eight!), but the girls are still, hopefully, reflecting real life sufficiently to keep it all relevant and readable.

Can you tell us a little about the other books in this series?

A friend once described the series as “Dickensian” – I think she was trying to be kind, but I’ve never been much of a fan of Dickens! I think what she meant was that it ploughed on and on, and it does raise the question of “where does it actually end?” The books simply follow the girls as they live their lives and continue to face what it throws at them, both collectively and individually. Much of what happens in Book one goes on in the next one; how much should I give away?

 I try to put just enough in the back-cover blurb to give an idea of the contents; I’ve tried to address one major and widespread issue in each book. So here goes: Book two presents Jo with a major trauma – well, two, actually, but also exposes her to her toxic family once more. Book three deals with how families deal with the sudden revelation that “coming out” so often is, and all the questions, doubts and uncertainties that such an admission leads to. Book four addresses things like divorce and the way being trans can sometimes be used as a weapon in such situations, and also with discrimination and hostility in the workplace. Book five considers how romance and relationships work (or sometimes not), and whether compromise can be a viable way forward for families and partners of trans people; Book six is where I put all the dark and nasty stuff, such as rejection, mental health issues, stress-related trauma and the crushing, crippling terror of potentially losing everything to this condition. That’s where we’re up to now – oh, and there are novellas as well!

Thank you Roz. I hope that has tempted visitors to this site to seek out your books. Next week’s blog will be about finding time to do the things that matter to us, when there are so many competing demands on our time.